Things I’ve Learned in the Past 5 Days: Part I–Tubing
1. Tubing down the Wolf River is completely different than floating around on the lazy river at the pool in Champaign, IL.
2. When Morgan warns you not to take the left-hand route, heed the warning. Seriously.
3. Karen WILL scream like a little girl when she comes face-to-face with a humongous spider.
4. I will, too.
5. When two moms start screaming like little girls, both of their sons will completely freak out, which will result in one flipping off his tube and shrieking as he tries to scramble out of the water and the other flailing around so much that he will pop his tube on a branch.
6. No matter how much you love your 9-year-old son, having him sit on your lap while you tow his (heavy) flat tube for 3 1/2 hours will NOT always be fun.
7. Pokey 9-year-old knees and elbows will leave you mighty bruised.
8. Did I mention that it probably would have been a good idea to listen to Morgan? Uh-huh. She warned us about the spider, too.
9. One way you can get your 9-year-old sons to stop pleading to be unhooked from your tube is to have an encounter with an enormous spider.
10. The next time you go tubing, volunteer to hook on with the daughter group, send Dad with the boys.
11. There are a whole bunch of box turtles who live in the Wolf River. They are fun to count and look at, but become terrifying to 9-year-old little boys when they fall into the river too close to the logs the turtles are sunning themselves on.
12. Bald Eagles are among life’s most noble creatures.
13. All that lifeguard training that I’ve never used will be put to use rescuing two 9-year-old little boys who manage to fall out of their tubes multiple times for no apparent reason.
14. Two words: bug spray.
15. Do not bring two 9-year-old boys on the long river route without snacks and drinks. Seriously? What on earth was I thinking?
16. The scarier the catastrophe, the more laughs Karen and I will share.
17. Karen will sacrifice herself (and her Crocs) for the good of the group. She’s definitely someone you want to be hooked on to in an emergency.
18. Except she might scream like a girl if she sees a humongous spider.
19. Lift your butt up when you see a little whirlpool up ahead. Trust me on this.
20. One afternoon with the Marquardt’s can create a lifetime’s worth of good memories.
PS Stay tuned this week for more lessons from my adventures of the past 5 days!